A New Awakening

 Today I got to see the new Star Wars movie with my husband and children, MIL, and perhaps coolest of all, with my father, the guy took me to very first Star Wars movie…a long long time ago in a galaxy far away.

As I get older these moments with Dad become ever precious.  He’s still my hero.  Yes, he grumbles.  Yes, he can be horribly inappropriate and we disagree on major points of philosophy.  We fight.  We’re both opinionated as hell.  I’m way too much like him actually: way too naturally cynical and prone to drama.  I drive him a little crazy I’m sure!   

But he’s my dad, there is nothing he wouldn’t do for me, and I am old enough to greedily want any moments of his time he is able to spare…even if it requires bribing him with movie tickets or dinner. 

It’s not always easy to accept those we love as they are, where they stand, good and bad.  But life is a lot sweeter when we can, and if we are smart enough to realize it we waste a lot less precious, precious time.

And watching my son sit on Papa’s lap during the scarier louder parts…that’s a memory I wouldn’t trade for the world and a blessing I won’t soon forget.

May the Force be with you and yours tonight and may you hold them closely.


December 26th

‘Twas the Day After Christmas and all through the house, 

Lay scattered torn papers the size of a mouse,

And half-opened toys and food on the table,

And piles of stuff everywhere I haven’t quite able

Figured out where to put, or with how I will cope,

With all of the ribbons and boxes and pieces…instead,

I’ll take me some NyQuil and head back to bed.


The Hard and Beautiful Truth of Christmas

The Holidays and Christmas time can be overwhelmingly difficult for many.  Filled with emotions good and bad, memories and ever increasing expectations, it is a lot to try and process on multiple levels.  Not everyone has the blessings of a … Continue reading

Choosing My Focus

I was blessed with dinner with my two best friends the other night. We’re not technically spring chickens but still pretty fabulous. 

Our parents however, well they are getting to that age where we start worrying about them, parts start falling off etc.  We learn what real worry and fear is.  We get scared.  We have bad dreams.

It’s easy to fall into that trap of almost continual panic and waiting for that shoe to drop.

I got to see my parents today.  I got to hug my mom.  I got to have dinner with my dad.  Yes, each is utterly crazy, and both are stubborn as hell but I love them both with all I have.

Just for today I’m going to choose to focus on the blessing of having my parents.  I am going to put my energies towards loving them.  I am pulling on the bonds that bind us.  I’m believing I can make up for a childhood of transgressions and focus on making them know how much I love and appreciate them.  I want them to know how proud I am and that I know how much they’ve given me.

The fears are empty, the anxieties are useless: instead I will focus on joy.


Acknowledging God

So, I have come to realize that I don’t talk about God much in my writing, mainly because as a recruiter and a business person, it’s been ingrained in me that it’s fine to have beliefs about things, but not fine to really talk about them.  No one wants to hear what you think or what you believe.

So for me, when I write, I use words like “the Universe” and “A Higher Power” and things like that for what I really mean in my head, which is God.

My God is not the God of my youth, it’s not the God that I was taught to fear and it’s not a God that shames.  My God is probably a hybrid of all of the different non-denominational books I’ve read, my Catholic Upbringing, my non-Catholic exposures, the Chronicles of Narnia, and my deepest hopes and dreams of meaning, purpose, goodness and Mercy in this world.

My God Loves Me, My God Forgives Me, My God Accepts Me…even when I screw up daily and don’t live up to who I most want to be.  My God finds ways through the darkness and hope where there isn’t.

My God is sad when there are mass shootings, or children die, or things don’t make sense.  My God knows all, and I choose to believe that even in the midst of darkness, He can turn all things to good.

I write this today because it occurred to me that perhaps all my wanting to write and bring good things into this world really need to start with the acknowledgement that my ability to write at all comes from a God that blessed me with that talent, and a desire to do something positive with it, even if I don’t know what that something is just yet.

May your God, Spirit, Greater being, or whatever makes you want to be a better person and give more of yourself be with you today and bring magic and miracles into your life.