The Ghost of Seasons Past


Standing around with two of my best girlfriends at my daughter’s 4th birthday party, I found some validation, enlightenment, and perspective (as much as one might muster amid a horde of tiny, rushing, screaming humans).

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The Parental Juggling Act


 

Parenthood: More than just juggling hearts and flowers!

When you have two working parents, and two children, there are many different things you have to try to balance. It’s not easy. It’s exhausting. It frequently requires a tag-team effort.

Yes, there are the meals that go uncooked, the house that goes uncleaned, and mass chaos but on top of that there are other considerations:

  • Determining which of us is less likely to face career retribution from staying home or leaving early to take care of kids;
  • Figuring out which one of us is actually more tired and frustrated (competitive self-pity);
  • Delegation of triage procedures for toy-related injuries;
  • Which series on the DVR to delete because we’ve never managed to catch up;
  • Which children’s program is the least annoying;
  • Setting a date and time to actually have a conversation not involving scheduling, kids, or finances…
    and the actually managing to do it;
  • Locating and/or remembering what presents were hidden where and who they were for in the first place;
  • Figuring out who gets to eat the treats we deny our children for health reasons (aka taking one for the team)!

Can you relate to any of this?  Parenthood:  a wonderful journey requiring frequent comedy breaks and a massive sense of humor!

 

Things I Don’t Get


My niece has inspired a new list for me this evening. I will call it “Things I Don’t Get”…

1. Why anyone would need an additional belly button tattoo right next to the original: was the first one lonely?Didn’t it hurt enough the first time?

2. Skinny jeans: they certainly don’t make anyone skinny!

3. 18 self-checkout machines manned by 3 employees staring at the 26 people in the regular check-out lane for who shopping in the first place was a big enough ordeal without bagging it all too…

3.5 Ditto for airport self service kiosks;

4. Entertainment venues offering children’s parties where parents are not free;

5. The existence of caffeine-free diet soda in general (and how I have managed twice now in two weeks to buy it);

6. Why they can’t make in rewards card that accommodates a plethora of vendors;

7. Velveeta.

Clearly I am getting old, rigid and easily confused, but honestly it wears me out just thinking about this stuff.

The first item on my list is really just to razz my sister about her crazy kids…though yeah, STILL don’t get it.

Early Morning Debacles of the Embarrassing Kind


I woke this morning before 5am, as is becoming normal for me. I went into the bathroom, starting to get ready to take a shower and I realized my iPhone was at 1% of battery life. Instantly panicked (as anyone as phone-dependent as I am quickly becomes at this status) I brought my phone over to the outlet in the bedroom and plugged it in. I started checking my email, etc. and the next thing I knew, ended up working on a blog post for www.mischiefofminions.com (my other blog, more kiddie-focused: feel free to check it out!).

My husband discovered me still there when he woke up 40 minutes later.

“Um – whatcha doing?” he asked.

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50 Shades of Red


Not too long ago I was getting ready for a fab vacation with my girlfriends. I was rushing, as usual, trying to throw things together last minute, and
just picked a few of the Amazon top 100’s without giving it any thought. I didn’t even read the descriptions. I thought I was just signing up for some normal chick lit.

When I opened the box and my husband saw what I had bought he started laughing. Clueless, I stared at him blankly.

Apparently, I was completely cut off from world events. “Fifty Shades of Grey” was apparently a phenomenon of smut I had heard nothing about.

He immediately made me watch the SNL skit. I was simultaneously amused and horrified. My face turned bright red as I realized my mistake – and I didn’t even buy the far less obvious Kindle version?! My vacation book reads were basically porn and I had had no freaking clue.

What did I do with this? As soon as my girlfriend and I got on the plane we surreptitiously opened the thing and started looking for the dirty parts like a pair of 13 year olds. Of course we did! We’re 40 year old, stressed-out women. We deserve to be entertained!

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