Do you ever go through those times where you don’t have the right words? Or even if you do have the right words, you don’t want to use them?
I’m experiencing something like that. It is odd, I suppose, and contradictory, to be writing about being out of words, but that’s how I have felt the past few days.
I don’t really want to talk about my feelings, my day, or my life to another person. It’s not that nothing is happening in my little world, I just find I presently lack commentary.
I don’t know if it is a conservation of energy, or soul, or just a desire for some kind of true silence, but right now I am feeling like the well is a bit dry. There is a kind of pain to that kind of withdrawal, and it hurts, but I think maybe sometimes we all just need to find a cave and chill, absent of the stress, and the people, and the obligations, and the struggles… and maybe even the words.
I feel a bit guilty about this, even though I mean no harm or offense to my loved ones. My normal desire to update my family and friends on things, my typical smart-assery, and my need to translate my head into verbiage just seems like it has shut down temporarily. The only exception to this seems my children: they are getting what words I do have, but even with them I think I am doing more watching and listening and (perhaps even a bit more than usual) cuddling.
I also haven’t stopped taking pictures, and still find myself pulling out my iPhone constantly to snap a shot. I thought that since I am lacking in one department, I would share some of my last few days and thoughts in pictures instead: sharing a little of what I have instead of what I feel, at least temporarily, I have not. Maybe it isn’t such a terrible thing when we occasionally shut our mouth and spend some time observing instead?
Do you ever find that you get this way? Like you’ve lost your words?