Ironically, I woke up angry today.
Anger is natural. Anger is the response we as tiny humans choose unthinkingly when we don’t get what we want, and at 44 I am embarrassed to say it is still often my first response.
My poor little kid’s coughing and hacking in the night after finally having a day where he was mostly well after a 5 day streak of viral fevers had me instantly furious.
WTH? Can’t we get a break? Can’t I get a break? Why does everything happen at once?!!
After two hours of positive reading, praying, drinking tea and trying to get warm downstairs I’m letting it go. I should have probably gotten on the treadmill but I am letting that go too. Baby steps.
Yes, it’s been a rough two weeks here. I’ve been sick with colds and stomach flu, we’ve suffered some minor injuries, we’ve been washing laundry non-stop, and we’re all pretty exhausted. When life gets like that, and it seems you go from one trial to another, it can get rough.
The truth is, this stuff – this stuff that happens: sickness, pain, struggle – isn’t going away. It’s a part of life. It sucks, but honestly it’s minor league. But when we give into anger over it we lose every time: our energy, our focus, our joy, and our immune systems are compromised.
And the last thing my little boy, my gift, my treasure needs from his mom is any negative energy. Only positive energy heals. Only love prevails. I will be that love. I will be the mom he deserves.
Thank you God, that it is a fever and cold, and not something worse. Thank you God that the coughing is getting the garbage out of his system. Thank you God that I can afford a house with heat and blankets and medicine to care for my child. Thank you God that he is getting well. Thank you God. Thank you God. Thank you God.