Huh? What? I am awake – why am I awake?

My right arm is tingling and numb – am I having a heart attack or was I just laying on it funny? Which arm is it that you have to worry about? I should download WebMD so I don’t look stupid if I have to call someone.
::downloading:: Dang it, I’m only 40 and I just finally had a decent day. I’m not ready for this. I better start saying a prayer: if I am dying I’m screwed and I don’t want to go to hell – maybe the Big Guy will accept a last-minute apology? Ok so it doesn’t say heart attack, just stroke – that’s a little better, right? Why does the pug sound like that? He’s breathing way too fast – is HE having a heart attack? ::going to mirror:: No, eyes appear evenly dilated (huh, look, I apparently forgot to take my contacts out again too) but now my head feels funny. Groceries – is Meijer open? Maybe I should go – I am pretty sure we don’t have baby aspirin. Or food. I bet we’re out of milk too… And of course I look gross too: if the paramedics comes they’re going to see me looking like Medusa on a bender – and the house is already a mess. They’ll probably wake up the kids too. My head hurts. Is that the baby crying? No, false alarm. Yes, the pain and tingling is only on one side of my body. No, I think I can swallow; my thinking isn’t precisely clear but that’s not new. Hmm. well, no new work emails. Why does the dog insist on sleeping on MY pillow? His breath reeks – why can’t he go cuddle with Snory-McSnory over there, sleeping like a baby? Well, I’m up now…tingling has lessened a bit. Suppose I could do some writing. I could take some Advil. But then I should probably eat something right? OMG it’s 2 am already? I’m supposed to be up in 3 hours! Not again!! ::GROAN::

Does this ever happen to you? More importantly, why does it keep happening to ME?

Ah, he looks so innocent, doesn’t he? Stinky, sneaky pillow thief!